But, punishment?

When my kids misbehave, I make them smell my butt for 10 minutes!

Nothing makes me more proud......

Than to get  on of these text messages for the first time, "Your son just picked his nose and ate it"!!!!!!!!
He may not eat his green veggies, but at least he's getting his greens from somewhere.

Dad-stache Power Poses!


Dad...in his natural environment. However, with the stache, don't feed the animals.

Dad-stache Power Poses!

Lets get physical...physical. I wanna get physical! Let me hear your body talk!

Dad-stache Power Poses!


Teaching my daughter how to ride a bike...CHECK! Having a bad-ass stache while doing it....DOUBLE CHECK!!!!

Dad-stache Power Poses!


The grass stands no chance with this amount of facial hair.

Dad-stache Power Poses!


Don't think the Dad-stache has any power?!?! Check out these pictures that tell a different tale.

Dad-stache...the final frontier!


After four weeks of concentrating and pruning, the Dad-stache is in full glory. Please, don't salute it as it's something to be admired, not worshipped. Here are the before and after pictures to demonstrate how one ordinary Dad can be transformed into a force of nature in four short weeks.

Last Resort!


My kids are so bored today, they had to actually play with each other! I feel lucky that I actually caught it on camera. Its like getting a picture of bigfoot or the loch ness monster.

Worst Dad-stache on a Celebrity


I can only imagine what Michael Jordan was thinking when her grew this Hitler-esque mustache. "You know what, Hitler was a pretty bad dude but his mustache was ahead of it's time. I'm going with it."


Kudos to you Michael Jordan for falling a few notches on the cool-o-meter thanks to your poor Dad-stache decisions.

Sexy Dad Saturday

This will begin a weekly Saturday posting with a Sexy Goofy Dad picture.

This week is Sexy Kitchen Table Dad. There's nothing like a hot cup of coco on a hot summer afternoon mixed in with a little sexy kitchen table dad. Throw in a steamy plate of spam and you've got the perfect recipe for any woman's dream.

Dad-Stauche Journal - Part 3



Things are starting to come in nicely now. I've decided to go with the fu-man-choo in honor of Paul Teutel, Sr from American Chopper. His is much more glorious than mine but my ultimate goal is is a Dad-stache the viewers can be proud of. I did have to trim the length a bit so everything was the same length. I know this is fascinating to you.


Stay tuned to next week's edition as I go full-frontal mustache. Hide the kids.

Nastalgia

Should I feel weird about paying $.99 for this song? NAH!!!!!!! I really want it on my ipod.



Who is a Goofier Dad?


These guys are easily the coolest, funniest and goofiest dads on the block... but the biggest question is, Who is Goofier?

Chip Off the Old Melon


I can't tell if she looks like me or her mother?

Happy Fathers day to all the Goofy Dads!

Now here are some goofy dads to make you feel better about yourself, because you are not the only one out there rockin' the sandals and socks. Hilarious!!

Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Poo Burger?

I can't think of anything more exciting for a goofy dad to read about than a turd burger.


Read the story here... Poop Burger

Dad-Stache Journal #2


Week number two in my quest to grow a Dad-stache. Things are starting to really take shape now. Gone is the full-beard in favor of the much more stylish and trendy goatee. As you can see, the upper lip is filling in nicely. The hardest part of the of any mustache is filling it out. Any goof-ball can grow out a pencil thin mustache, but its takes a real Dad to grow a big, bushy, 3D caterpillar.

Next Week, The goatee gets a trim....Paul Tuetel, Sr. style. Stay tuned.

My Little Girl is Coming Home


After week on vacation with her best friend, my little girl (11-years old) is finally coming home tomorrow (just in time for father's day). I have to say I'm surprised at how much I didn't miss her while she's gone. I know that sounds bad, but she called me every night. It wasn't this nightly call that kept me from missing her, it was the excitement and enjoyment I heard in her voice that kept me from missing her. See, she was so happy where she was at, exploring new things, hanging with her friend, etc., I was just as happy for her knowing how content she is - her happiness made me happy. As a Dad, there's know better feeling than knowing how happy your little girl is. How could I miss her!?!?!

"Here's how it's done!!!"


When it comes to milking goats, Dads are always the first to grab a teet. Never put it past Dad to to miss an opportunity to make in inappropriate comment such as, "Something familiar about doing this motion?" Let's face it, sometimes Dads will take any kind of "action" they can get.

Ninja Dads

Stay tuned until the end and find out why dads make the best ninjas!

Sexy Business Dad

It's time to get down to business...that's why they're called business socks.

Dad Rock Band

Can't shred a real guitar? No problem. Here's a guitar that only has 5 color-coded buttons for you to master. Although you still won't be as good as most 11-year olds.

Sexy Outdoor Dad

The ladies like a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio, soft music and chocolate covered strawberries to get them in the mood. For Dads, all it takes is the intoxicating smell of mother nature. Toss in a power tool and Dads just can't control themselves.

Dad Stauche Journal


In honor of the launch of Goofydads.com, I will be growing a Dad-stauche and will document it week by week. The best part is that you, the viewers, will get to join along in this fabulous journey. This week's picture is little more than scraggly peach-fuzz. But don't worry, considering that I am part Hungarian, it will blossom quickly. Tune in next week for a growth update.

Mother/Daughter Plank

I've always been a little goofy

Goofy dads are always goofy!

Hill-Billies

Nothing says "the hill-billies are here" quite like soaking wet cut-off baby jeans diapers.


And yes, I too think Huggies should pay us for this endorsement.

UPDATE: Also, I forgot to mention, hill-billies we may be but we don't beat our kids that bad. His brother drew on his back with marker. 

No Throwing the Controller

I love playing video games with my son as much as the next dad... but getting a temper at 4 years old is just crazy.  If you throw the controller in my house, I have 2 words for you... Kentucky Chrome

Father's Day Faux-Pas


With Father's Day next week, many wives and girlfriends will be racking their brain for the perfect gift. I'm here to tell you to keep it simple, stupid. One of the best father's day presents I ever got, was silence. On their special day, mother's only want to spend time with their precious angels. For father's day, most dads take a different approach.

The second best gift I ever got for father's day was three boxes of Hostess Ho-Ho's. Never forget that dads are just larger children and what works for little boys (candy, roller coasters, fart-sound machines, toy light sabers, a Victoria Secret catalog, etc.) will work for dads.

Not sure what's worse

Having to change my one kids diaper who poops 3 times a day or taking my other kid to the potty 40 times a day for 30 "false alarms".

They Think They're Sooo Smart!!!!


Remember the time when you could use your Dad-magic (Lies) to fool your kid? There comes a day when your mumbo jumbo becomes transparent and speaking in code doesn't work. That day is sad.

Twins boys with me as a dad

They don't have a chance to be normal.

No NFL?

I vote for the DDSFL (Diaper and Dress Shoes Football Leage).

At what age......

Do you teach your kid to think outside the box?

Driving lessons.

I had to plead with the officer that he was not drunk...


Sandboxes Suck

In theory, sandboxes are brilliant as they bring the fun of the beach to the comfort of your backyard. Enter a 2 and 4 year old kid, and that awesome sandbox just became Satan's Toy Box. Clumps in the pool, piles in the grass, diaper filled with poopy-sand and trails of little grainy bliss all over the house.



Thank you sweet Lucifer for your bastard invention!
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Little girls, growing up



My wife taught my 11-year old daughter the fundamentals of shaving legs last night.

The Dad Stauche

Growing up, I think every dad I knew had a dad stauche at one time or another. That's why I feel every dad needs to grow a healthy stauche at some point during fatherhood. I've already done one but I think in honor of the launch of this blog, I may need to do another one.....who's with me?

Spider Monkey


Wrestling with your kid is fun... but watch out for Spider Monkey's!!!

Sports Suck Until They're 9

I love parents pretending to be excited watching their 6-year old play baseball. Honestly, I counted the minutes until those games were over. Really, you expect a kid who can't even hit the toilet peeing to turn a 6-4-3 double play? Lower your expectations. This goes for any sport. If you expect your kid to NOT double dribble every one and a half steps playing basketball, lower your bar. If you are angered because your kid stopped on the soccer field to chase a butterfly while the action went right passed him, give him a break. Kid sports don't resemble actual sports until they are about 9 or so.


Until then, cheer loud, be positive, and for God's sake take your kid out for ice cream after the game because that's what they really want.


Size matters?


I've always heard that your eyes never change size and that babies have the same size eyeball they will have when they become an adult. Well after helping my 22 month old kid partake in his potty training, I couldn't help but question, "Could this apply for turds too?"

That thing was bigger than some of mine!

Potty Training


Step 1: Poop on the floor


Kid Planking!

Training to become the Worlds Greatest Planker!



You have to start young... just like Tiger!

Punch in the Neck!

Today my son told me that he wants to 'Punch me in the Neck'...

I couldn't be more proud!!!